3/30/97 - 6/8/05

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Vern is good...


Do you remember obedience training, Mr. Boo?  Remember your first day?  One of your teachers had a Rottweiler, too; his name was Boomer.  You wouldn't quit growling at the timid GSD next to you, so the trainer pulled out the Bitter Apple spray.  Immediately, Boomer started backpedaling, and shaking his head.  You could almost hear him say "Don't do it, man -- don't do it!"  But you did and she squirted some right in your mouth and, Oh!  The drama!  The rolling and fizzing!  What a production, LOL!  You sure learned not to mess with her! 

Then, after you finished your basic training, Aimee took over the class.  She'd worked with you a little in your beginner's class, so she knew you.  At the start of the class, she gave a small speech.  She said that she taught lots and lots of dogs and owners, and so she would be referring to each dog by it's breed, not to be rude, but just because she can't memorize all the names and didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings... except for Vern.  Vern would be called "Vern" because Vern was just so clearly a "Vern" and she was sorry, and didn't mean to single him out, but just couldn't think of him any other way.  You did very well in the class and you were the teacher's pet.  She brought her Pit Bull, Dagger to classes with her, but you didn't like Dagger the way you liked Boomer; Dagger was too rough and he hurt your feelings. 

You were such a proud boy!  By the time you were 1/2 way through your advanced class on your way to your CGC, we'd gotten Tinkerbell.  But every week you got to go in the car alone with Mommy, and leave that Tinkerbell behind.  You never sat taller in the seat as when Mommy took you to class by yourself -- you felt so special!  And when class was over, the store took "graduation" photos.  You were the only one to have your picture with the teacher giving you a big hug!  Then she gave me your diploma and you a cow's hoof.  She did not, however, mention just how badly those things stink.  Most unfortunately for everyone, you loved that thing.  It quickly became an outside toy and "mysteriously" vanished one day.